Do I favour Anna? No, I don’t.

Do I favour the movement against corruption? Yes I do. 

Now, aren’t both one and the same?  I don’t think so.

When I decided to go to Ramlila on Saturday, this confusion was raging within me. 

Having grown up in an Indian state which never considered itself a part of India, I cannot say my patriotic sentiments ran high. I am not the kind to wave an Indian flag or shout Vande Mataram on Independence Day or get into  patriotic debates. I do not religiously vote in every election, I sometimes bribe to escape situations, I do not always stand up for anti-corruption. I am very much an average Indian. But yes, I respect India and I am proud to be an Indian any day, though I don’t wear patriotic sentiments on my sleeve.  So I was wondering why I wanted to go to Ramlila. I looked a complete misfit. Someone even joked – Come on, you are going because you want to post it on Facebook. For a second, he actually had me believe that it might be the true reason. Phew!

Throughout my journey to Ramlila, I kept debating my reasons. Once I reached there, the confusion got fiercer. My friends were high on sentiments, waving flags, shouting slogans…some even enrolling as volunteers. I could hear Dr Kiran Bedi, in a parched voice, explaining reasons to support Anna. I listened eagerly, hoping to find some for myself. Few that I registered:

“We vote people to power. They become corrupt. Then, when we question, they ask us who we are and tell us to fight elections and become a politicians to bring change. Why should we become politicians,” she shouted. “We do not want to be politicians. We voted you to power so that you could take care of our problems. Now we are here today, because you chose not to take care of us and instead become corrupt politicians.” This made slight sense to me. Okay – this can be my reason number one, I made a mental note. 

“India has been free for 65 years,” she said. “If there had been no corruption, India would have been better off than the US today.” Now, that sounded good. My reason number two.

Then she went on to explain little bit of the bill. She said, “This bill will make each one of you richer, it will give you good schools, good roads….support Anna, and you will have this all.”  She suddenly sounded like a salesman trying hard to sell me the Anna concept. Then she asked everyone to close eyes and pray for Anna’s health. That did it. I was no longer sure whether I could believe her. Her words were: Sab chup hojaao, Chup, bilkul chup, chup, chup…ab ankhe bandh. Hey Ishwar, (then a pause)  followed by Hey Jesus, Hey Allah…

Oops, she should not have done this to me at this juncture when my confusions were creating havoc. My feeling that she paused to add Hey Jesus, Hey Allah just to be ‘religiously’ correct did not help either. Then out of the blue, someone began to play patriotic songs to which the crowd rose, sang and danced. Even Anna was seen clapping hands. Now, this was turning out to be real entertainment.

Dismayed, I looked around me, trying to understand the meaning of it all. Why were we there? Was it to be a part of the entertainment? Was it to be on TV – many could be seen waving hands wherever there were cameras? Was it out of curiosity?

For heaven’s sake, why could I not just believe that we were all there to fight corruption? Why wasn’t I getting convinced? Why was I thinking this hard?

By then, it must have been two to three hours that I was at Ramlila. I felt tired and drained – more to do with the mental strain rather than the physical. I decided it was time to go.

We stopped by to buy a bottle of water. We were charged Rs 17 instead of Rs 15. I would have never asked before but this time I asked him the reason. He said it was to pay the local police. My friend then said – why be a part of corruption especially at this time when the nation is awakening to an anticorruption movement. The vendor smiled and returned the two rupees. I was surprised. Was this the Anna effect?

Next I went to a grocery store, where I have been buying provisions since long. It was a ritual that they never gave the bill. But I surprised myself asking for one. I had never done that before.

Next day, the morning newspaper had a story citing that crime rate in Delhi had gone down by 35 percent since Anna began his fast.

Suddenly I found my answers.

I went to Ramlila – not for Anna or for the Jan Lok Pal bill. I went there for myself. The Anna movement had managed to awaken an anti-corruption consciousness in me. The movement has given me a chance to piggyback on the highly charged anti-corruption sentiments around me, in the process making me strong enough to fight the fragments of corruption that I am party to in my day-today life. Maybe, I always wanted to fight corruption but being an ‘average’ Indian, I was on lookout for someone else to give me a platform. And Anna managed to give me that to a certain extent.  Anna was able to bring a small change within me.

Now in this manner, if a small change can be brought in every individual, where he can proudly say – I have begun the anti-corruption movement within me. How about you? Anna can be termed a winner.  

I then felt a sense of gratitude towards the whole movement.

If you ask me how long will I be able to sustain the change? Well, that will totally depend on me – no Anna or Jan Lok Pal Bill can help me there.