In the 1990s

As a child

I longed for bonding

Bonding among cousins

Bonding among relatives

But somehow, I could never understand

The reservations grown-ups had.

Why could sleep-overs be not common?

Why could one not barge into a cousin’s house for breakfast

Or just make impromptu plans with relatives

Why?

The family politics was always beyond me!

Shift to the 2020s

Now, a grown up

I still crave for bonding

Now I have my reservations

Bound by the daily rigmarole

I struggle to find time and energy

To maintain relationships

And at some point

My comfort takes precedence

Where I feel that sleep is more important

Than making a call to my sister or brother

Or to invite my nieces or nephews for that sleepover

That aside, an even more pressing thought is:

Will we be able to bond? Or will the conversations be awkward?

No family politics here, yet difference in ideologies, thoughts, actions

Seem to create an invisible wall

Where each wants their own space

Were these the reservations that I could not understand as a child?

How I long to throw caution to the wind and just bond with people

Forge heart to heart connections that rise above doubts and negative feelings    

And enter a realm where only relationship reigns supreme!